5 Things Couple Therapy Can Help With

5 Things Couple Therapy Can Help With—Part 1: Overview

4/25/2020

Whether you have tried therapy before, know someone who has, or have a friend who you think should go to couple therapy—you may be wondering what couple therapy can actually help with. This will be the first post of a 6 part series on 5 things couple therapy can help with; in the weeks to come, I’ll go into each category in more detail.

1. Fighting

Each couple fights differently. Some couples yell and curse, and others are more passive aggressive and function on the silent treatment. Then you have most couples that fall somewhere in-between or have a combination of both. Regardless of your fighting style, you may find that fights about the dishes are never really about the dishes. Couple therapy can help you understand the pattern you get stuck in and help you communicate better when you fight. (Read more about how couple therapy can help with fighting here.)

2. Loneliness

Many people would say that loneliness is worse than being alone. Nothing is more painful than being emotionally alone in a relationship. This loneliness stems from emotional disconnection. While communication skills can help, couple therapy can also help you learn to emotionally reconnect so neither of you are alone in the relationship. (Read more about how couple therapy can help with loneliness here.)

3. Sexual Disconnection

When we are out of sync emotionally, this can impact our sex lives. You may notice more anxiety around sex when there is an emotional disconnect. Some individuals experience an increase in their sex drive after fights, and others find that their sex drive decreases—in couple relationships this can lead to a discrepancy between partners in their interest in sex. Couple therapy can help couples reconnect after fights in order to be on the same sexual page, ultimately enhancing sexual pleasure. (Read more about how couple therapy can help with sex here.)

4. Feeling Insecure

A romantic relationship is simultaneously the source of the greatest security and comfort, while being the scariest and riskiest place to be vulnerable. When someone is the most important person in the world, it is only natural to feel insecure. When we are emotionally disconnected, we feel more insecure in the relationship. The key to managing this insecurity is building a relationship where sharing vulnerability is valued and treasured. Couple therapy can help you take the risk to be vulnerable while also training you how to create the emotional safety for you partner to be vulnerable with you. (Read more about how couple therapy can help with feelings of insecurity here.)

5. Confusion On How It All Went Wrong

If you are like the rest of us, you probably sometimes wonder, “how the h*ll did we even get here?” Fights and disconnection create a vicious cycle that can take over the relationship. This cycle can appear to come up out of nowhere—even when you thought the relationship was going good. Couple therapy can help you regain control of your relationship by recognizing the cycle you both get into and empowering you to change the pattern. (Read more about how couple therapy can help with understanding what went wrong.)

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Elizabeth Polinsky is a marriage and couple therapist specializing in working with military members, veterans, and their families. Liz is located in Norfolk, Virginia, and provides online counseling services throughout Virginia, South Carolina, and Arkansas.

DISCLAIMER:
My podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are general information for educational purposes only; they are not psychotherapy and not a replacement for therapy. The information provided does not constitute the formation of a therapist-patient relationship. You should consult your doctor or mental health provider regarding advice and support for your health and well being. I cannot answer questions regarding your specific situation. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, you should call 911, report to your local ER, or call the National Crisis Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Nothing I post should be considered professional advice. The information in my podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are not intended to be therapy or psychological advice. The podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are not a request for a testimonial, rating, or endorsement from clients regarding counseling. If you are a current or former client/ patient, please remember that your comments may jeopardize your confidentiality. I will not “friend” or “follow” current or past clients to honor ethical boundaries and privacy; nor will I respond to comments or messages through social media or other platforms from current or past clients. Current and past client’s should only contact me through the professional contact information provided on the website. Lastly, accounts may be managed by multiple people. Therefore, comments and messages are monitored by staff and are not confidential.