5 things Couples Therapy Can Help With—Part 3: Loneliness

​Did you miss Part 1 or Part 2? Clink the link to read more.

Nothing is as painful as being alone in a relationship. To be in the same room with a partner who is supposed to love me, and still be alone, is excruciating.

This loneliness is often caused by emotional disconnection. Sometimes this is preceded by a lot of fighting until we both give up and shut down. Other times the emotional connection has eroded over time resulting in an emotional chasm between us.

​Oftentimes couples come see me in therapy wanting to learn communication skills in order to communicate better. While communication skills help you communicate better, what does it matter if you are communicating from different sides of the Grand Canyon? You end up communicating very clearing as you shout into the abyss between you.

While couple therapy can help you communicate better, it can do so much more. Instead of focusing on only on communication skills, couple therapy has the ability to help couples cross that chasm in order to be emotionally connected and close again.

This can be scary to hope for. If I am used to being separated from the one I love, even though I long to be with them, it can be terrifying to hope that we can have closeness again. It’s scary to risk trying to cross the chasm. Focusing only on communication skills is a band-aid to achieve some improvement without having to risk. Couples therapy can offer so much more than band-aid; it can create safety to risk crossing the chasm and find ways to regain closeness. You don’t have to be alone in your relationship.  

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Elizabeth Polinsky is a marriage and couple therapist specializing in working with military members, veterans, and their families. Liz is located in Norfolk, Virginia, and provides online counseling services throughout Virginia, South Carolina, and Arkansas. ​

DISCLAIMER: 
My podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are general information for educational purposes only; they are not psychotherapy and not a replacement for therapy. The information provided does not constitute the formation of a therapist-patient relationship. You should consult your doctor or mental health provider regarding advice and support for your health and well being. I cannot answer questions regarding your specific situation. If you are experiencing a medical or mental health emergency, you should call 911, report to your local ER, or call the National Crisis Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Nothing I post should be considered professional advice. The information in my podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are not intended to be therapy or psychological advice. The podcast, blogs, videos, newsletters, and products are not a request for a testimonial, rating, or endorsement from clients regarding counseling. If you are a current or former client/ patient, please remember that your comments may jeopardize your confidentiality. I will not “friend” or “follow” current or past clients to honor ethical boundaries and privacy; nor will I respond to comments or messages through social media or other platforms from current or past clients. Current and past client’s should only contact me through the professional contact information provided on the website. Lastly, accounts may be managed by multiple people. Therefore, comments and messages are monitored by staff and are not confidential.

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