Gifts Love Language

7/13/2020

With the Gifts Love Language, individuals tend to feel loved when they receive meaningful gifts from their partner. Gifts like small notes, mementos, or their favorite dessert or candy have a large very impact on making them feel loved. This could also be a larger gift such as the engagement ring or other jewelry for woman, or watches etc. for men. The gift does not have to be big or expensive though. In fact, frequency of small gifts could make a bigger impact on your partner than expensive gifts if their love language is gifts. If this is your partner's love language, try giving them small gifts often. (Wondering about the difference between primary and secondary love languages?? Click here to learn more.)

The key is showing your appreciation for your partner through something tangible. This is something your partner can look at and say, “yea they were thinking of me”. When you partner’s love language is gifts, they prefer having visual representations of your love over other ways of showing love like touch or compliments. Make sure to find ways to give your partner small gifts often. This will make them feel close and connected to you!

Individuals whose love language is gifts tend to give gifts to the people who are close to them. They might buy coffee for someone, bake a cake for someone birthday, or make crafts or artwork for those that are important to them. They tend to be very giving toward others. If this is your partner’s love language, they are longing for you to show representations of love through tangible objects and give them small gifts to remind them that you have been thinking about them.

Tips for Speaking the “Gift” Love Language

If your partner’s love language is gifts and yours isn’t; then you are probably wondering how to actually go about speaking their love language. Here are some tips:

Get them a box of candy,
Buy them flowers or pick flowers for them while on a walk.
Try making art for your partner—crafts like painting, ceramics, woodworking, etc.
Pick them up coffee or make them coffee and bring it to them.
Get you partner a book or audio book to read/listen to together.
Try a coupon book for your partner.
Keep a notebook of the things your partner says they would really like to give you other ideas.

If you are long distance or deployed: try mailing your partner a care package with different notes to open up at designated times. Remember to include pictures or items from your favorite memories together.

Things to Avoid with the Gifts Love Language

Since meaningful gifts are so important for the person whose love language is gifts, non-meaningful gifts will have less of an impact. You’ll want to avoid:

Avoid generic gift cards. If you go the gift card route, make sure it is to something they REALLY love.
Avoid forgetting birthday or anniversary gifts. Set a reminder for yourself to get something in advance if this is not your language!
Avoid only getting them gifts on special occasions. You want to make sure you give them some small gifts regularly.
Avoid rejecting your partner’s gifts when they give you something. This is them showing you that you are important to them. Make sure to show them that you appreciate it.

We all need love relationship to thrive in life. Part of having love relationships is knowing how to show love to others in a way that they will receive. For someone whose love language is gifts, then regular meaningful gives that show them you were thinking of them helps them feel full and confident in your love. This helps them know they are important to you.

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Elizabeth Polinsky is a marriage and couple therapist specializing in working with military members, veterans, and their families. Liz is located in Norfolk, Virginia, and provides online counseling services throughout Virginia, South Carolina, and Arkansas.

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