3 Types of Intimacy in Marriage

8/3/2020

When looking for a romantic relationship, we all want intimacy. When people talk about good marriages, they talk about how they have intimacy. And when people talk about bad marriages or come to marriage counseling, they often say that intimacy is missing.

But what exactly is intimacy?

Intimacy in marriage has three central components:

1. Showing intimacy in marriage means sharing personal information.

In good relationships and marriages, couples are able to share personal and intimate details with each other. By sharing vulnerable emotions, your partner is able to emotionally understand and empathize with you. In happy long-term marriages, couples share vulnerability with each other and understand each other’s deeper emotions. This allows couples to depend on each other for emotional support.

2. Showing intimacy in marriage means building more trust.

This mutual vulnerability leads to a deeper emotional connection and more trust. The more couples are able to share vulnerability and have their emotions understood, they develop a deeper trust in each other. They trust their partner to have their back. This level of emotional trust naturally leads to more positive feelings toward each other. And when couples feel emotionally connected and have emotional trust in their marriage, they also begin to notice the positives about their relationship and each other again.

3. Showing intimacy in marriage means being able to communicate strong feelings.

The last component of intimacy is communicating those positive emotions to each other. Couples can communicate this is many ways. Some couples verbalize their appreciation for each other and the things that they admire about each other. Other couples share more physical affection through hugs, holding hands, or cuddling. There are many ways a couple could show affection—the important part is that they actually show it!

As a military marriage counselor, I am often helping couples regain intimacy in their relationships and develop deeper emotional connections. Marriage counseling is a great tool to start growing intimacy in your relationship again. Just remember, the first steps are to be vulnerable and share personal information, promote positive feelings for each other, and tell your partner about the positive feeling you for them!

Want more intimacy in your relationship? Download my FREE Guide Date Night: Ideas for Your Love Language. 

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Photo by SYLO Productions

Elizabeth Polinsky is a marriage and couple therapist specializing in working with military members, veterans, and their families. Liz is located in Norfolk, Virginia, and provides online counseling services throughout Virginia, South Carolina, and Arkansas.

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